Two years ago, I was shattered. I didn’t know it then, but that heartbreak would be the catalyst for everything good that followed.
The pain? Excruciating. Never would I wished it upon anyone.
As an Ate – the eldest sister, I fear about my siblings getting heartbroken.
As a child, I get nightmares about my Mom about Papa cheating on her because of the telenovelas we watched as a kid. But thankfully, Papa has always been loyal to her.
And in my relationships, I never thought someone would betray me as I see my Papa loyal to my mom and to us.
But when I experienced betrayal for the first time, it was a bomb.
A virus with lasting effects. Heartbreak suddenly felt like a cute word for it.
Along the way, I learned that betrayal isn’t always about crossing a physical line.
Sometimes it’s in the shift ~ when you’ve quietly become the lesser choice.
That’s the moment something sacred slips away.
It wasn’t just the during, but also the before, when you can already feel it slipping away.
It was the end itself.. and then the moving on ~ the longest, hardest part, especially when you’re left traumatised.
It’s the heaviest mental garbage anyone can carry.
But you know what, it became the biggest PUSHER to become the woman I needed.
It taught me to set boundaries, embrace my femininity, and refuse to settle for less.
It taught me to love myself.. and love her even more by investing more into her.
And with investing more into her, I valued her more.. that she could no longer entertain anyone who treated her less than she treated herself.
I learned the art of detachment, and that life is full of contracts with people.
Some contracts are only meant for a phase of your life.
When they end, you thank them for their purpose… and you move to your next destination.
It’s true. That one break gave me the space I needed to step out of my comfort zone.
To stop playing small. To move.
That was the beginning of everything: building myself, exploring the world,
falling in love with life.. and myself ~ again.
Traveling wasn’t the goal, but it became the bonus.
I wasn’t yearning to be a wanderer.
I was simply seeking change. And once I found the courage to choose myself, I realised ~
I could keep going.
Growth is never pretty when you’re in the thick of it. But today, I’m grateful.
For the heartbreak. For the pain. For the freedom it led me to.
Because the girl I was then?
She wouldn’t survive the life I live now.
And I wouldn’t trade this version of me for anything.
